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Buy my book, “Growth and Change Are Highly Overrated”
Buy my book “Two Ways to Sunday”
Story Time with Tom Starita
The Tom’s Apartment Cartoon
Tell Me with Tom Starita Podcast
The Unquestionably False Yet Undeniably True Story of Tom Starita
What the hell is this?
All My Media Appearances…

All My Media Appearances…

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Not for nothing, this has been the best 2 weeks of her entire life https://t.co/wqrK1Cb8xj 1 hour ago
RT @TrumpComedyNerd: The Fake News Media ATTACKS Monica &Rachel for having "to NICE of an apartment" on Friends, but is SILENT about Frasie… 1 day ago
RT @ST0NEHENGE: Putting the clocks forward at #Stonehenge. English Heritage staff repositioning the stones for the start of British summer… 2 days ago
RT @BMcCarthy32: I'm guessing this is the hairiest we've been as a species since the 70s 2 days ago
RT @RealJamesWoods: This guy is my favorite weirdo on earth. What’s not to like? https://t.co/Fxg7RahZfr 2 days ago
RT @KenJennings: I can’t remember a time when it wasn’t March. 3 days ago
RT @mchooyah: Some friggin’ kids toilet-papered my house last night. It’s now worth $5.6 million. 3 days ago
RT @thebkoof: We’ve basically reached the point where we are living our dogs’ lives. We take a walk in the morning, a walk at night, get ex… 4 days ago
RT @caitiedelaney: I’ve been laughing at this joke since I was like 8 https://t.co/sVK5p160RW 4 days ago
RT @say_daisyyy: This is epic. Steve Carell ages like fine wine https://t.co/zfvvyXUWwS 5 days ago
I wish Dr. Now from My 600 Pound Life was doing the press conferences with Trump 5 days ago
IT’S TUESDAY???? WTF 5 days ago
RT @biden4pres: This hashtag business. It's a pound sign. Hashtags. Whole different sort of language, they're coming up with here. This is… 5 days ago
Today's story is one of romance, tragedy and good grooming... medium.com/the-haven/the-… 6 days ago
You have to respect the balls twitter.com/inessentials/s… 6 days ago
Hey @scorpions I wanted to let you know that even during these uncertain times, there are people out there who ap… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 1 week ago
RT @aljwhite: This is the best and clearest explanation of why people need to stay at home you could ever wish to see https://t.co/49Mgadlc… 1 week ago

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Not for nothing, this has been the best 2 weeks of her entire life @lolathechorgi #lolathechorgi #puppygirl🐶 #covıd19 #blessed🙏 #swag #squadgoals❤️ #keepingit100💯 #toml #carolbaskinkilledherhusband

I call this series “I’ve Given Up” A series of pictures of me during the last week in quarantine Picture #1: The Bad Toupee Picture #2: Fat Lips Picture #3: no No NO Picture #4: Netflix Documentary I’ve instructed @shanabananer to use one of these pictures for my obituary if I...you know #blessed🙏 #yolo #squadgoals❤️ #keepingit100💯 #swag #toml #quarantine #quarentine2020 #tittysprinkles

Tom Starita’s MVP of the Week goes out to Bob Clorox. Eighty years ago you invented a wipe that would one day save the world from a virus named after an imported beer. Great job Bob! This has been Tom Starita’s MVP of the Week—sponsored by Barbasol. “When you need cream, you need Barbasol” #blessed🙏 #swag #squadgoals❤️ #yolo #lit #keepinit100💯✔️💋 #coronavirüs #cloroxwipes #barbasolchampionship💈⛳️ #tomstaritaMVPoftheWeek

Sometimes a man just wants to eat his breakfast in the tub #tublife #tubtime #tummytime #waterexcursion #nobathsalts #typingwhilenude #blessed🙏 #yolo #squadgoals❤️ #keepingit100 #lit #toml

Sooo funny story... Three and a half years ago I was skiing with my friends Karen, Janelle—@hob_house_of_bitches and my Aunt Chippy—not on social media. My Aunt Chippy has celiac and was starving. I happened to say out loud, man i wish they made gluten free English muffins. My friend Karen said that’s a good idea and we continued snorting the white powder—that’s a skiing phrase not a drug phrase... Anyway fast forward three and a half years later and now Karen owns the best gluten free bakery in the state of Connecticut—Pure Love Bakery—@purelovebakery Originally she was going to name the English muffin after me but thanks to those bastards at Thomas’ I told her not to worry—I knew the truth. Go check the place out and tell them Tommy sent you and she’ll give you a free high five! #purelovebakery #glutenfree #glutenfreeenglishmuffins #checkitout #blessed🙏 #squadgoals❤️ #swag #lit #keepingit100 #thisis40 #thisissparta👑 #toml

It’s been a tough go but I’m over a month smoke free! Thanks to everyone helping me and thanks to @shanabananer for being so patient! Love you honey bunny! #smoking #nopenottodaysatan #hardlife #blessed🙏 #squadgoals❤️ #swag #keepingit100 #toml

Search for:

Buy my book, “Growth and Change Are Highly Overrated”
Buy my book “Two Ways to Sunday”
Story Time with Tom Starita
The Tom’s Apartment Cartoon
Tell Me with Tom Starita Podcast
The Unquestionably False Yet Undeniably True Story of Tom Starita
What the hell is this?
All My Media Appearances…

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