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Buy my book, “Growth and Change Are Highly Overrated”
Buy my book “Two Ways to Sunday”
Story Time with Tom Starita
The Tom’s Apartment Cartoon
The Ten Minutes Too Long with Doug Barnes Podcast
The Unquestionably False Yet Undeniably True Story of Tom Starita
What the hell is this?
All My Media Appearances…

All My Media Appearances…

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RT @BroHumors: Whoever had the idea to have Stevie Wonder shoot a free throw should be arrested https://t.co/stQWaWQWui 2 days ago
RT @SketchesbyBoze: ROALD DAHL: so, this book is about a chocolate factory— PUBLISHER: and it’s magic? DAHL: no, it murders children PUB… 3 days ago
RT @Chan315: Hey twitter just a friendly reminder that Vent Haven is a real place that exists. A museum where ventriloquists have donated t… 3 days ago
RT @actwithoutdoing: I'm sorry but Fleetwood Mac look exactly like an old version of the It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia gang and I don't… 5 days ago
RT @eericaelaine_: if y’all try to tell me we’re the only ones in this entire universe after this, i’m blocking you. twitter.com/AMAZlNGNATURE/… 1 week ago
RT @austinyorski: HUGE plot hole in reality: every person carries around a device with access to the totality of human knowledge and yet pe… 1 week ago
RT @RealWilfordB: Shhhh twitter.com/KevinMKruse/st… 1 week ago
RT @thewatchpod: #ConnorRoy2020 https://t.co/iHZiyx1HVG 2 weeks ago
RT @TheCousinSal: So the @Mets will only play 162 games while the @Yankees will play 163. I can live with that. 2 weeks ago
RT @KTVBJoe: #Breaking - About 100 goats are on the loose right now in a #Boise neighborhood. They are going house to house eating everythi… 2 weeks ago
RT @OfficeScenes: Since creed is my favorite... here are some random moments of him https://t.co/w5dh114PY4 2 weeks ago
RT @thatmetschick: Before each game, Noah Syndergaard takes to the center of the mound to kneel and pray. Each day this photo reminds me of… 3 weeks ago
Many thanks to Alicia Harrell for not only giving my book, "Growth and Change Are Highly Overrated" a fantastic rev… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 4 weeks ago
It’s depressing that right now you can say the Knicks and the Islanders are better run franchises than the New York… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 1 month ago
RT @Claudio_GSN: 10/15/2015: NLDS, Game 5 Jeurys Familia completes a 6-out save (the first of his career) to seal a 3-2 win over the Dodge… 1 month ago
RT @richardmarx: I misspoke. I meant to say I “wouldn’t” be right here waiting for you. 1 month ago
RT @vodkasnowflake: dying before the Wilpons do twitter.com/mikeclaynfl/st… 1 month ago

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There’s a story behind this... A year ago I was on line at Webster Bank when a guy approached me. He asked if I had a couple of minutes and I prepared myself for some kind of sales pitch. Instead he asked if I ever thought of doing commercials... A year later I’m remembering shit at 4am #modellife😻🙈 #natural #rememberingshit #blessed🙏 #yolo✌ #swag #squadgoals❤️ #toml #merica🇺🇸

With everyone posting their fireworks pics/videos I wanted to show what I captured last night in Stratford! I’ve seen a lot of crazy firework displays but this one might be the best one ever! First, notice the Night King and his Fire Queen, prominently displayed throughout the night. Notice the splendor of their mutant butterfly lightning bugs or Light Butters, as the locals call them. Drink in the majesty of the blooming fireworks, illuminating the night sky and of course there’s the rainbow time portal, bringing you to wherever, and whenever you’d like. I guess that’s why they call my town Lordship, because we should all bow down to it’s magnificence! #usausausa🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 #happyfourthofjuly🇺🇸 #merica🇺🇸 #rainbowtimeportal #lightbutters #nightking #firequeen #lordship #brilliance #blessed🙏 #yolo✌ #swag #squadgoals❤️ #toml

Sometimes you just need to do something special for your boo to show how much you love her. Tonight I surprised Shanz with dinner outside on the lanai—malabar prawn curry over jasmine rice and a couple of tall boys on the side. Nothing better than prawns at sunset. #whataguy❤️ #whatahusband #besthusbandever❤️ #currymakestheworldgoround #tallboys #lenai #blessed🙏 #yolo✌ #swag #squadgoals❤️ #toml #cardibaintgotshitonme

Sooooo as some of you may or not be aware—I decided to sneak out of regular life and take a quick trip to Mexico. @shanabananer was okay with it so i went by myself, in search of culture, donkey shows and most important of all—myself. Well found myself I did and while playing a riveting game of Cee-Lo in a bank alley in Tijuana I noticed one of the dudes I was playing with was using trick dice! Of course I said something and that’s when I realized the other 5 gentlemen with us were friends with this guy.... Causing me to make friends with his trusty “stabbing knife” and i know that’s the name for it because he kept yelling, “Cuchillo acuchillador!” over and over—which is a weird thing to scream when you’re trying to kill someone. Thankfully my years of watching martial arts movies paid off and I fended off my attackers long enough for someone to come along, chasing them off—not before they made my stomach look like the worst game of tic tac toe Long story short I’m now in a Tijuana hospital watching the classic Mexican show, “Rebelde” on loop. Maybe they should have left me in the alley! #tijuana #tijuanamexico #TheNarajaoftheSouth #iwasstabbedmultipletimes #holyshitthatsarealhashtag #holyshitthatsarealonetoo #bellyproblems #whatisgoingonintheworldwhenthesehashtagshaveposts #rebelde #isurvived #gloriagaynor #escuchame #blessed🙏 #swag #squadgoals❤️ #lit #keepit💯 #yolo✌ #toml

Happy Mother’s Day to the best mom in the world who doesn’t have Instagram! This photo was taken my junior year of high school aka “my experimenting with steroids years” You are as beautiful as the summer rain. Don’t ever change #happymothersday #bestmom #bestmomevahhhhh #jacked #bananahammock #myeyesareuphere #blessed🙏 #yolo😎 #squadgoals❤️ #keepit💯 #toml

TBT—to those two magical years I was a cop. There was nothing better than working the beat—especially when your beat is the Jersey Shore. I won that lion when I shot the tin can three times in a row. Originally I was going to give it to a little girl but she dumped her ice cream on the boardwalk and I had to issue her mom a citation. Good times! #cop #beachcop #hotcop #strippercop #okayokayyesonenightiremovedmyuniformformoney #actuallyforcharity #okayhernamewascharity #blessed🙏 #yolo✌ #swag #squadgoals❤️ #toml

Search for:

Blogs I Follow

Buy my book, “Growth and Change Are Highly Overrated”
Buy my book “Two Ways to Sunday”
Story Time with Tom Starita
The Tom’s Apartment Cartoon
The Ten Minutes Too Long with Doug Barnes Podcast
The Unquestionably False Yet Undeniably True Story of Tom Starita
What the hell is this?
All My Media Appearances…

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