Perhaps you’re wondering where the hell I’ve been? Here you are, an innocent party enraptured by my life story only to be met one day by a stony silence which has kept up for well over a year now.
You want, nay, DEMAND an explanation!
I was the unfortunate victim of a well orchestrated terrorist plot, in which I was the main and as a result only victim. One day I will go into the horrifying details, one day I shall regale you with the months of rehabilitation and mental rebuilding that goes along with someone who has experienced the horror of the puppy bomb. For now, be content with the return of the story.
The story of TOM Starita.
Where was I?
Ahh yes, Ted Nugent had slayed Alan Thicke…
Unfortunately my internet time has expired for the evening and I’m out of dimes. Come back tomorrow!