The next two weeks were a whirlwind of activity. The Princess and Fred were in the throes of planning the wedding, down to the tiniest detail. For instance, they went back and forth for two days regarding how we should enter the Grand Hall as newlyweds. There were two options. The first was to charge through an eight foot, thinly sliced piece of Canadian ham. The second was to walk through a ninety-foot crispy bacon bridge from the entrance to our thrones. To this day I wished we tore through the Canadian ham like a high school football team coming out of the tunnel although I understand why. Did your face ever come in contact with a greasy piece of Canadian ham? It’s brutal. Now factor in her makeup and the amount of cameras covering the event. Realistically, there was no way it could work. We had to use the crispy bacon bridge.
Marriage is full of compromises.